So I drive on over to Bristol, bitches, niggaz put away your pistols

So today is first Bristol, a good excuse as any to spend a Sunday drunk and yelling at the television. It's also the first race for the minority-approved Car of Whenever. It's supposed to equalize the competition and shit; we'll see about that. The starting grid looks pretty much like it usually does, so we're not expecting anything out of the ordinary, with the exception of the possibility of Matt Kenseth and Jeff Gordon beating each other with the detachable wings from their respective cars. Thankfully, ordinary at Bristol means hatred, viciousness, and vendettas that last for years, so there's that. We've been thinking that the circuit is overdue for a new winner - there were only two last year, and that's even if you count Brian Vickers' bullshit win at Dega - but that's probably not going to happen in Thunder Valley. We're banking on a comeback for the 8 team today, though not literally, because most situations in which money is staked on the reliability of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. do not end well. The usual suspects will run up front:

5. Johnson
4. Harvick
3. Kenseth
2. Kahne, cause why not?
1. Junior