California: Here Comes the Future
We've been trying to figure out what to say about the Daytona 500, but the last post from last week's drunkblog really says it best; most of our upper-level brain RAM is still dedicated to trying to figure out why Kevin Harvick is not in Guantanamo Bay or at least some damp and uncomfortable secret CIA prison somewhere in Eastern Europe. We've hated on Harvick pretty hard for a while now, and so the following things frankly do not matter to us:
- Martin winning would have depended not on whether NASCAR had thrown the yellow before he crossed the start/finish but exactly when. Harvick and Martin traded the lead a couple times even after the Medium-Sized One behind them erupted.
- Harvick came from pretty deep in the pack to win. Yeah, a lot of that can be attributed to simple attrition - most of the cars that could and should have won had wrecked out - but a lot of it was skill.
- Harvick was kinda sorta maybe driving Dale Earnhardt's old ride, and since Dale Earnhardt is dead that makes it all poignant and shit.
- The 500 victory was a fitting conclusion to the rehabilitation of RCR, which as recently as two years ago was a midpack team whose future was in some question (speaking of which, both Penske cars were pretty strong in the 500 - will '07 be for them what '06 was for RCR?)
No. None of these things matter. It wasn't even that we like Martin that much, certainly not as much as SPH; he's not really what you'd call an exciting driver to watch, and his old Viagra car, along with Bob Dole, helped put the idea of old white guys with prolonged, enduring erections into the national consciousness. But he was the sentimental favorite, and the idea of former teammates Biffle and Kenseth pushing him to the front did make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, and he was driving a car sponsored by the U.S. Army, an institution that's had a few seasons recently that make RCR's troubles look inconsequential by comparison (a car, we should add, that Front Row Joe Nemechek had been unable to accomplish anything with in the last two years). So, again, to those whom it may concern: send Kevin Harvick to Guantanamo. Shit, he's already got the brightly colored jumpsuit.
Also, anyone notice some weird names in the top 10 at Daytona? Mike Wallace (in the Miccosukee car!)? David "The Butcher of Martinsville" Ragan? The aformentioned Front Row Joe? WTF?
So that there was your 500. We might not be happy about the winner, but the race itself, or at least the last third of it, reminded us of everything that's right about NASCAR - unexpected upsets, spectacular crashes, and some pretty good racing by desperate folks doing desperate things. Hell, Clint Bowyer came across the start/finish upside down and on fire; show me that, IRL!
If the Daytona 500 represented everything that's good and holy about modern stock car racing, this weekend's Auto Club 500 at California will probably represent everything that's wrong with it. California's not a very exciting track; it's fast, but tends to produce a lot of long green flag runs during which nothing much happens. At the second California race last year, the most compelling drama revolved around whether or not Reed Sorenson would run out of gas. Just about any fan will tell you that there's no reason that California should even have two dates, but demographics are what they are and it does, so let's just all bear the fuck with it.
There's another way in which California is different from Daytona; Daytona is a plate track where anything can and does happen, while California is an intermediate track the likes of which make up the bulk of the NEXTEL Cup schedule, and so what happens this Sunday will probably be pretty indicative of the way that the rest of the year will go (last year, all but one of the eventual Chase contenders finished in the top 13). Here's what we think will go down: look for a couple Roush cars (we refuse to refer to it as "Roush-Fenway"), probably Kenseth and either Biffle or Edwards, to charge to the front early and then spend most of the day duking it out with probably all of Hendrick, Kasey Kahne, and maybe Jeff Burton. As for the end, we're going to go out on a fuck of a limb and predict that Casey Mears will go to Victory Lane for the first time in Cup and in his second start with Hendrick. Kenseth, who won the Busch race earlier tonight, should do pretty well also. Here's your Top 5:
5. Gordon
4. Kahne
3. Edwards
2. Kenseth
1. Mears
Sadly, there will be no Cup race next weekend, which drivers who are running Busch (we also refuse to use the term "Buschwhacker") will spend running at the Autodromo Hermanos Whatever in Mexico City and which the rest will spend getting right with the Lord before heading to Las Vegas, where everyone will supposedly die because of the newly added banking. Also, this weekend marks precisely one month until the first Car of Tomorrow race. See y'all tomorrow.
- Martin winning would have depended not on whether NASCAR had thrown the yellow before he crossed the start/finish but exactly when. Harvick and Martin traded the lead a couple times even after the Medium-Sized One behind them erupted.
- Harvick came from pretty deep in the pack to win. Yeah, a lot of that can be attributed to simple attrition - most of the cars that could and should have won had wrecked out - but a lot of it was skill.
- Harvick was kinda sorta maybe driving Dale Earnhardt's old ride, and since Dale Earnhardt is dead that makes it all poignant and shit.
- The 500 victory was a fitting conclusion to the rehabilitation of RCR, which as recently as two years ago was a midpack team whose future was in some question (speaking of which, both Penske cars were pretty strong in the 500 - will '07 be for them what '06 was for RCR?)
No. None of these things matter. It wasn't even that we like Martin that much, certainly not as much as SPH; he's not really what you'd call an exciting driver to watch, and his old Viagra car, along with Bob Dole, helped put the idea of old white guys with prolonged, enduring erections into the national consciousness. But he was the sentimental favorite, and the idea of former teammates Biffle and Kenseth pushing him to the front did make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, and he was driving a car sponsored by the U.S. Army, an institution that's had a few seasons recently that make RCR's troubles look inconsequential by comparison (a car, we should add, that Front Row Joe Nemechek had been unable to accomplish anything with in the last two years). So, again, to those whom it may concern: send Kevin Harvick to Guantanamo. Shit, he's already got the brightly colored jumpsuit.
Also, anyone notice some weird names in the top 10 at Daytona? Mike Wallace (in the Miccosukee car!)? David "The Butcher of Martinsville" Ragan? The aformentioned Front Row Joe? WTF?
So that there was your 500. We might not be happy about the winner, but the race itself, or at least the last third of it, reminded us of everything that's right about NASCAR - unexpected upsets, spectacular crashes, and some pretty good racing by desperate folks doing desperate things. Hell, Clint Bowyer came across the start/finish upside down and on fire; show me that, IRL!
If the Daytona 500 represented everything that's good and holy about modern stock car racing, this weekend's Auto Club 500 at California will probably represent everything that's wrong with it. California's not a very exciting track; it's fast, but tends to produce a lot of long green flag runs during which nothing much happens. At the second California race last year, the most compelling drama revolved around whether or not Reed Sorenson would run out of gas. Just about any fan will tell you that there's no reason that California should even have two dates, but demographics are what they are and it does, so let's just all bear the fuck with it.
There's another way in which California is different from Daytona; Daytona is a plate track where anything can and does happen, while California is an intermediate track the likes of which make up the bulk of the NEXTEL Cup schedule, and so what happens this Sunday will probably be pretty indicative of the way that the rest of the year will go (last year, all but one of the eventual Chase contenders finished in the top 13). Here's what we think will go down: look for a couple Roush cars (we refuse to refer to it as "Roush-Fenway"), probably Kenseth and either Biffle or Edwards, to charge to the front early and then spend most of the day duking it out with probably all of Hendrick, Kasey Kahne, and maybe Jeff Burton. As for the end, we're going to go out on a fuck of a limb and predict that Casey Mears will go to Victory Lane for the first time in Cup and in his second start with Hendrick. Kenseth, who won the Busch race earlier tonight, should do pretty well also. Here's your Top 5:
5. Gordon
4. Kahne
3. Edwards
2. Kenseth
1. Mears
Sadly, there will be no Cup race next weekend, which drivers who are running Busch (we also refuse to use the term "Buschwhacker") will spend running at the Autodromo Hermanos Whatever in Mexico City and which the rest will spend getting right with the Lord before heading to Las Vegas, where everyone will supposedly die because of the newly added banking. Also, this weekend marks precisely one month until the first Car of Tomorrow race. See y'all tomorrow.
posted by SPT at 2:32 AM
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