Daytona: the Cash Rules Everything Around Me edition

So we've been meaning to say something about this whole Michael Waltrip debacle, which, for some reason that I'm not sure that I want to understand, was the leading news story (at least on CNN.com) for a good, solid two days. The problem is, what to say? Stripped down to its elementary particles, it's really not that exciting of a scandal. I mean, this shit happens pretty much every year. The only things that are particularly salient about Mikeygate is the egregiousness of the violation and the fact that NASCAR actually decided to dock points in addition to the standard crew chief suspension. There is also the fact that it happened to a Toyota team during the manufacturer's first Speedweeks, but I'm not sure to whom that might matter in the grand scheme of things.

So what really happened down at Daytona? Did the 55 team knowingly and shamelessly try to sneak the fuel additive past the officials, possibly acting on direct orders from the Charzanne Beauty College itself? Did a rogue crewman, whether David Hyder or someone else, act on his own initiative? Or is there another explanation? Let's conspiracy-theorize for a few minutes. Like Lenin and The Dude might say, just look for the man who stands to benefit from all the publicity surrounding the scandal. In this case, that would be NASCAR and Michael Waltrip, both of whom are thoroughly and completely addicted to publicity. Along with Waltrip is NAPA, whose logo gets another couple milion eyes on it every time that the story is on Sportcenter; farther back in the shadows are Toyota and the nation's motorsports press, who now have an excuse to run the same "if you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'" story that they do every year.

So, is Mikeygate a conspiracy? Probably not. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. It's weird, though, that the cheating would have happened during quals, which in and of themselves don't guarantee a starting spot in the 500 (one wonders if the punishment for the same offense committed during the Gatorade 150s would have been more stringent). Let's face it - the expectations for the 55 team and for that matter all of MWR are not very high going into 2007. It'll be interesting to see whether the deducted points will keep the 55 out of the top 35 after the first six races of the season.

One last word on Mikeygate: amusingly, another story we saw a lot of this week was the "if NASCAR was serious about cheating it would park drivers" story. Give us a fucking break. Everyone, which includes the motorsports press, knows that if NASCAR started suspending the Mikeys and Scott Riggses of this world, then there may well come a day when they would have to explain why Dale Jr. or Tony Stewart would not be parked for a similar offense. That's not going to happen. The paying customers - the fans, and more importantly, the sponsors - would revolt, which would be good for no one, in particular the France family's livelihood.

So that's that. I guess there's a Daytona 500 happening in a few hours. Everyone thinks that Tony Stewart is going to win, and with good reason. He's never won the 500 before, though he's won the Pepsi 400 two years running. Obviously, he's looked great since he got to Daytona Beach, and he has something to prove after missing the Chase next year. All of these facts are not ones that are going to be lost on the other 42 drivers, so I'd expect that some folks will be getting a little antsy when they see that orange blur in their rearview mirrors. He'll also have drafting help not only from his teammates but also friends Dale Jr. and Kasey Kahne. Barring the unforeseen, expect to see the 20 in Victory Lane as you struggle to stay conscious towards the tail end of your Sunday afternoon bender.

Of course, the unforeseen does have a way of taking place at Daytona, and it's rendered that much more likely this year by the number of drivers who have little or no superspeedway experience. Mark Martin will probably get caught up in it. In terms of predictions, I'm feeling guardedly optimistic about Yates' chances, and possibly one of the Penske cars; other than that, your usual plate-track suspects. Here, then, are your predictions for the 49th Daytona 500:

5. Rudd
4. Kurt Busch
3. Dale Jr.
2. Gordon
1. Stewart

And here are your predictions for the 2007 Chase for the Nextel Cup, in no particular order. We'll all have a good laugh at these come second Richmond.

1. Johnson
2. Earnhardt Jr.
3. Mears
4. Biffle
5. Gordon
6. Stewart
7. Kahne
8. Kenseth
9. Kurt Busch
10. Edwards
11. Harvick
12. Kyle Busch

There you have it. See you in 10 hours.